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Friday, September 01, 2017

More of: Kids Say Funny Things!

Fresh Manna
by Pastor Tim Burt


Kids do say funny things!
These humorous stories were passed along to me. I hope you find them cute!

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

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Children's Prayers: 

  • Dear God: This is my prayer. Could you please give my brother some brains. So far he doesn't have any.
  • Dear Lord: Thank you for the nice day today. You even fooled the TV weather man.  
  • Dear God: Please help me is school. I need help in spelling, adding, history, geography and writing. I don't need help in anything else.  
  • Dear God: I need a raise in my allowance. Could you have one of your angels tell my father. Thank you. 
  • Dear God: I am saying my prayers for me and my brother, Billy, because Billy is six months old and he can't do anything but sleep and wet his diapers.  

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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the lady dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the man wearing black?"

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A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?"

One child answered, "Mary."

The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"

A little kid said, "Verge."

Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"

The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about Verge and Mary.

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3-year-old, Reese prayed: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen."

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A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."

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A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."

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After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."

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I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail.

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One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

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A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

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Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door?

They're hushers."

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A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait'" Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!" 

In His Love,
Pastor Tim Burt

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