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Friday, April 04, 2014

Some Humor to Make You Smile

Fresh Manna
by Pastor Tim Burt

How about a little bit of humor this weekend. After all, Proverbs 17:22 (NIV) says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."

An Awesome Relationship with God

Bob, an 85-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results.

The doctor says, Bob, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God? 

 Bob replies, God and I have an absolutely awesome relationship! He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof!, the light goes on. When I'm done, poof! The light goes off. 

Wow, that's incredible, the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Bob's wife. Sandy. He says, Sandy, I just wanted to let you know that all of Bob's test results have come back and Bob is doing fine! While I've got you on the phone, I have to ask you about the awesome relationship Bob says he has with God. He says God has provided some supernatural help for him. Is it true that he gets up during the night and, poof! The light goes on in the bathroom and when he's done, poof! The light goes off?  That sounds so amazing. Is it just like Bob says?  

Oh my God! Sandy exclaims. He's peeing in the refrigerator again!

Call the Doctor

A Lutheran pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.

Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.

Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."

It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough from their laughter for the worship service to be continued.

Three Nuns at a Met's Game

Three nuns were at Citi Field taking in a Mets game.

Three men were sitting directly behind the nuns and because their habits were partially blocking their view, the men decided to badger the nuns hoping they would get annoyed enough to move to another area of the park.

In a very loud voice the first guy said I think I'm gonna move to Utah, there are only 100 nuns living there.  Then the second guy spoke up and said  I wanna go to Montana, there are only 50 nuns there. Then the third guy said  I wanna go to Idaho, I hear there are only 25 nuns there.  

The Mother Superior turned around, looked at the men and in a very sweet and calm voice said, Why don't you all go to hell... there aren't any nuns there.

Proverbs 15:13 (MSG) "A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face..."

Smile and have a blessed weekend!

In His Love,
Pastor Tim Burt 

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